29 Mar 2004

Armageddon

A fire raging underground in Manchester has caused the end of the world, as we know it. The fire has destroyed thousands of telecom cables and it has resulted in a reduction of inbound calls and stopped outbound altogether.

Janice co-ordinated ‘filing’ activities while Bernard called a crisis meeting in his office. He had three flip charts at the ready so we could form our contingency plans. On one it said “Maximise” and on another it said “Minimise” on the other it had a list of numbers.

“Thank you for coming to this meeting. You are the task force that is going to see us through this crisis today and beyond.” Bernard was solemn as he addressed us. “We need to MAXIMISE our opportunities while we MINIMISE the risk to our business.”

“What do the numbers mean?” Call Centre Tony asked.

“Ignore them. They are the drinks order from an earlier meeting.” Bernard ripped off the offending sheet and circled Maximise and Minimise. “We don’t have many calls coming in and we have none going out. You’ve got to ask yourself ‘what would Edward de Bono do in a situation like this?’”

“Get carrier-pigeons on the job.” Tony quipped.

Bernard rushed to the flip chart. “I love it. It’s thinking like that what’ll save us.”

Armageddon outta here.