30 Jan 2005

Giving Head

Working in a call centre means getting intimate with your tool.

The tool in question is a headset. They come in many sizes and shapes, but without them you’ll not get far, because they are the link between you and your public.

It’s easy to spot people who work in call centres as they all suffer from ‘head set hair’: a narrow parting that stretches from ear to ear. Some women like to adjust the headset so that it sits at the back of their neck to avoid it messing their hair do.

There are a several code names for varieties of headset:

The Madonna These are coveted, but rare, versions of the headset. Made completely of black plastic with a proper cover on the mouthpiece.

The Cliff This is a ‘double header’ with ‘two’ ear-pieces instead of the usual ‘one’, disliked by everyone as it is impossible to hear what the topic of the ‘between call chats’. Barney has one, and skates around the office singing ‘Wired for Sound’.

The Seagull People are possessive about their headset and some daub their initials in Tippex on the earpiece. The headsets are past from generation to generation, and eventually they get caked in the stuff.

The Spirit Level A headset with a spit bubble trapped in the mouthpiece.

The Brazilian A headset with a curly bit missing.

The Nadia A headset with no muff.

This post is dedicated to Julian Clary who has avoided another snatch.