The Hierarchy of Dos

Its been bedlam over the last week, hence the dearth of posts, however things have started to quieten down as the deadline for Christmas deliveries has now passed.

You may have heard of “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs”, a theory that attempts to illustrate the stages of human motivation. I wish propose a new theoretical approach to Call Centre hierarchies based upon the activity of Christmas dos. I call it “Wrapstar’s 4 Ages of Call Centre Christmas Dos’:

Team

The Team do is the lowest of all Christmas Celebrations. Lets face it, these people would never be together if it was not due to some conspiracy of fate and poor local employment prospects. No one wants to organise it. No one really wants to go. It usually ends up being a baguette and half a stella-shandy at lunch time.

True to form, Thrush was on form at this year’s do: “I haven’t pulled a cracker since last Christmas. Geddit. PULLED a cracker. A cracker…”

Department

The department dos attract the party animals and subsequently end up being like Sodom and Gomorrah. I’ve been to department dos that look like they have been painted by Hieronymus Bosch but with cracker hats and Ben Sherman shirts.

Team Manager

As a ‘Middle Manager’ it is a statutory requirement that you attend the Team and Department do, but you can’t enjoy it because you’ll be cornered by some drunken part-timer who wants to have a career chat: “I love working for you. Every one thinks that you are great.”

On the other-hand, Team Manager dos are a chance to let your hair down with your peers. Inevitably it descends into sex chats: “If your life depended on it who would you sleep with out of Alison the post woman or Ten Tonne Bess from Janice’s team?” The Team Manager do for this year takes place this coming Friday.

Heads of Area

Partners are invited to these dos and usually involve seeing a show and a nice meal afterwards to discuss golf and cars. The small talk is so small it’s almost tiny.