Shabba

Call Centre Tony is a Manc. He calls us people from Bolton ‘inbreds’.

It’s not big. It’s not clever. It’s true.

Take Peter Kay for example, Britain’s favourite comic du jour whose sell-out UK tour has just come out on DVD in time for Christmas, everyone in Bolton is related to him – “he’s a cousin of my best friend’s girl friend’s sister’s dance teacher.”

Tizzy couldn’t contain her excitement when she was talking about the DVD. “I watched it frame by frame last night because I was there that night. I was looking for me and Dave in the audience.”

“Are you on it?” I asked.

“I thought I spotted me at the start, when the audience were going, but it was someone a different colour hair and coat – and she wore glasses. I spotted my mum’s hairdresser though.”

When I related the story to Call Centre Tony in his canteen confessional, he just smirked, raised his hand, and said: “Give me six brother.”