Soft Cell

John Doe is still doing a great trade in Tesco Value Baked Beans. I can see that it’s going to be a great atmosphere to work in over the next few days as the race to beat the sell-by date kicks in. I considered asking for the air conditioning turned up to eleven in anticipation.

According to Tizzy, John is replenishing his stocks in his bunker, because “you can never be too careful.”

He saw THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW and thought it was a documentary. I had a worrying thought: what if my team were the last people on Earth?

Caught on the call monitor today:

Customer: “I bought one of those Eco-Clocks that you plug into a potato. Tell me, is the spud okay to eat after it has been used?”

Thrush: “Yes. And it has less calories.”

Our future is safe.