The Road

Wigan. WIGAN!

The only good thing to come out of Wigan is the A58 to Bolton.

The Wigan Call Centre isn’t a real Call Centre – it’s an old council building with shiny walls and sticky carpet. The only good thing its got going for it is its water machines (they have those ones that have a big tub that goes glug glug glug).

I’m going to be stuck there with Brenda. I hope the pie shops don’t stock tuna and onion sandwiches.

“Hey up son!” It was Call Centre Tony phoning to congratulate me on the move. I was consoled by the thought that we could revive our daily canteen confessional. “I’m Boris* to Birmingham.”

Woe thrice woe. Glug, Glug and glug again.

*Boris Karl OFF