26 Aug 2003

A Script for a Jester’s Tear

In a bid to raise my profile, I have joined ‘The Sales Stream’, an elite group of people from across the Call Centre who are dangerously close to disappearing up their arses.

They work closely with Mary, the compliance officer, who thinks that consumer rights mean that customers should be bored within an inch of their lives just in case they might be persuaded into buying something that they might want.

Every week ‘The Sales Stream’ meet to discuss the latest sales scripts and discuss them to death. Mary said, “Mmmm. I’m not sure. In this script you claim “The Drum – Drum Hearing Aid could improve your hearing”. If you say “could” it implies that it “could” improve your hearing.”

“It COULD improve your hearing.” I said giving the line the emphasis that I think illustrated the point.

“Mmmm. MAYBE it could improve your hearing.” Mary suggested.

I could smash Mary’s head in. Maybe.