Spooks

“I love how you do this. I think it is wonderful. It’s like you are a mind reader or something.” Susan (Tizzy) said at the start of her appraisal meeting.

“What do you mean?” I started to arrange the wheel on the desk and unfurl her statistics in front of her.

“I have had my cards read, and this is exactly the same, you fiddle about with that wheel and tell me things I didn’t know were going to happen.”

I laughed. “It’s not like I can see dead people or anything.”

“Well its funny you should say that, because I have a lady who follows me, I’m very spiritual, the woman who did my cards said so!” She got all wide-eyed and excited like Sue Pollard with a tyhroid problem. “She said that an old lady follows me everywhere, her name has an ‘e’ in it and she has a connection to a black dog." She paused while she gasped for air. "I wracked my head for days and days thinking who it could be, then I realised who it was – Sandra the woman who worked in the DOG and Duck pub on BLACKburn road.” She said conclusively.

“Where does the ‘e’ come in?” I asked.

“Someone spiked her gin and tonic. She got loved-up a bit then keeled over with an heart-attack.”

I wonder if I need to order an extra headset?