6 Mar 2003

Meet the Team (Part 2)

I have four John’s on my team. Whenever I say “John” their heads bob above the pens like Prairie Dogs.

John One - (Thrush) I call him thrush because he is an irritating cunt. He has to have the last word in every conversation. If he can’t think of anything to say in Team Meetings, he repeats what the last person said, as if it is a new idea. I would do 15 for this guy.

John Two - (John Doe) John Doe writes lists about everything. I like him, even though he is really odd, and has no sense of humour, but I like the challenge of finding the “All Time Top 5 Bus Stations you have ever visited.” He writes really, really small like the killer in the film SEVEN. He uses the same piece of A4 file paper, to write notes on, that he was given when he started, four years ago.

John Three - (Moomin Papa) People say he’s a morman, but I’m not sure. He thinks that The Call Centre is a conspiracy planned against him. Everything that happens, happens to make his life more miserable. He is probably right.

John Four – John Four is, strictly speaking, not called John. Joan is so hard of hearing that she answers to John.