Shock Jock

Every morning I listen to a radio phone-in programme. The presenter deals with consumer problems with aplomb: refunds for holidays from hell; advice on a last will and testament; and advice on boundary disputes with neighbours. He also deals with opinion, arguing the toss about the news of the day: hang ‘em high; send ‘em home; and skin 'em and salt 'em.

When I was an advisor on the phones every day, arguing with customers about charges, I used to get through the day by imagining myself as a phone-in host, fielding people’s problems and swatting them away with a timely bons mots.

My morning companion is scathing of Call Centres: “stop phoning and start writing” he insists. If only more people would take his word for it.