Ab Fab

I came in early today, before the lines opened, to inspect the box. It was a cornucopia of tat. The catalogue (that cannot be named for ‘keeping my job’ reasons) has sent the team a sample of the products that it sells:

A tiepin napkin holder in the shape of a peacock.

A dog-shaped doggy-do dispenser that looked much smaller in ‘real – life’.

Wipes for everything from dash-boards to ash-trays.

An extendable squeegee that can clean upstairs from down stairs.

A gnome with glass eyes to scare cats off your lawn.

Battery Operated Ab- trimmer – a strap-on, elasticised belt with plastic discs that vibrate slowly to make you thinner.

It’s little wonder that we are so busy with these great life-style boosting products.