12 Oct 2003

Smoke Club

These are the rules of Smoke Club:

Rule number one; do not talk about lung cancer, smelly clothes, smelly breath or how much you spend on the glorious weed.

Two; just like toilet etiquette, if there are other chairs, use them, never sit right next to someone else – especially if you don’t know them.

Three; always smoke as many fags as possible in the time you have, you’ll be sorry later if don’t and will waste the rest of the day dreaming of the next one.

Four; NEVER leave early to go back to work – why would you?

If you are a non-smoker and have popped in for the experience, you MUST be accompanied by a smoker and under no circumstances complain about how smoky it us.

If you are a manager NEVER sit with your staff and vice versa. This is a relaxing place where bitching is indulged and nurtured.

If you forget your fags, it’s ok to bum a smoke, but do it too often and you’ll get a bad reputation. You’ll be known as a ‘Fag Bummer’ and that’s bad.

Feel free to join Smoke Club. Adhere to the above and you’ll be fine.

Disclaimer: this list is not exhaustive.

By Fag Ash Lil.