Not available in the shops

Yesterday, we all filed solemnly into Bernard’s office ready for a major announcement that was promised to send shockwaves throughout the organisation.

Bernard was in a state of frenzied enthusiasm. “Love it. Love it. Have I got news for you… errrmmm!”

Tony whispered to me, “Why does he do that?”

I looked back at him with a puzzled expression.

“I have promised expansion for the bureau and I am pleased to say that it is on its way. Not before time errrrrrrm!”

Tony whispered again, “Why does he do THAT?”

Bernard passed round a set of catalogues. We flicked through them with intense interest as he grinned broadly. The catlogue featured a host of useless useful items such as ‘dado-rail dusters’, ‘Novelty Doggie-Do Bag dispensers’ and ‘Fold away treadmills’.

“The contract has been signed and in two weeks we will begin to receive the calls. I want to see this campaign come alive! I want to see energy, passion and desire with motivational games. Tony where are you up to with that ‘Motivation pack’?” Before Tony could answer, he snapped to me. “I want to see Sun Tzu workshops taking place for the Team Managers and the full use of the Intranet. This is the biggest thing to happen to us and I don’t want any slip ups errrrrmmmmm!”

Why does he do that?