You need brass balls …

I have volunteered to take the leads for a new product on my team. Every so often when things are slack, The Call Centre takes telesales campaigns from local businesses. We have sold Cat Meat and Time Share Cottages in Morecambe in the past; it is soul destroying endurance work that usually doubles the absence on my team.

But, Bernard has been turning on the heat due to my team’s poor performance and this is an opportunity for me to save my skin. He has started to use the phrase ‘Performance Management’, a euphemism that means: “I want to sack you. You twat”.

He can’t look me in the eye.

It was time to stick my neck out. The new leads appeared in an envelope, scented of patchouli, like a rocker’s crotch, I ripped it open: Tantazia – The complete Tanning solution – 15% reduction on membership.

Burn baby burn.