17 Sep 2003


Sun Tzu says that you should base your knowledge on facts, not on hearsay and gossip.

Ian came over to see me when Shrek, the IT technician, was installing the messaging software on my PC. “What the hell is that smell?” He asked.

“I know. I Know. I can’t work it out. I think something might have died. A mouse or a rat or something.” I said.

Ian stroked his Darth Maul tie. “Did you know that rats reach sexual maturity at 8 weeks old and have sex up to twenty times a day?”

Is it this kind of talk that turns on the women? He was quite flirty in his approach, using that breathy voice. He continued, “They’re appearing in record numbers. They are everywhere – nasty little critters.”

Shrek grunted, “It’s done.”

“All that sex and they don’t even have chat rooms.” Ian smiled and slithered away.

I was left a bit worried. What was he implying? Was he suggesting that rats would indulge in ‘internet grooming’? I will never read Wind in the Willows in the same way ever again.

I never trusted Ratty’s intentions towards mole as it is.