30 Sep 2003

Something in the air

I called Mike, also known as Manic Miner, into the Meeting Room today. The smell has not gone away and Janice is getting impatient, “If you haven’t got the balls to deal with it, I have. My team are complaining, it isn’t right. Deal with it!”

It is not immediately obvious, but on close inspection, he is really scruffy. I should have realised it was him all along. His shirt looks like it has been ironed with a brick and trousers are crouchless due to a hole worn between the legs.

Thanks for your suggestions on how to deal with the matter. The air freshener idea has not worked. My team is in a sponsorship deal with Airwick. Tizzy has been spraying the area so often our team has its own hole in the o-zone layer.

The trouble is, he doesn’t speak, he just stares. I opened the session weakly, adopting Wendy’s softly-softly approach, “Hi Mike. It’s a delicate issue. It’s time for some feedback. There’s no easy way to say this … but … well let me ask you … you … what do you think I’m going to say?”

Blank look.

“Well ok. I don’t know if this has been an issue before … clearly, it might not be an issue before or since … there are, how can I put this? Hygiene issues. Yes. There are hygiene issues.”

Blank look.

“You have hygiene issues.”

Blank look. Silence. Not a flicker.

“… Any way, I heard a couple of the girls talking about someone who was really cute …”

Thanks Natalie.