5 Jan 2004

Bada Bing!

Returning to work, the Christmas decorations are limp and out of place, so Call Centre Tony quickly pulled them down, boxed them up, and put them where we’ll be unable to locate them in December. The strands of tinsel in each corner of the office will be taped to the ceiling for the rest of the year.

It’s traditional at this time of the year for me to get more focused and determined to progress in my career – don’t worry, it won’t last long – the first knock back I get, I’ll be back to normal.

Over the holiday period, I have been consulting my favourite management guru, Tony Soprano. 2004 is the year I want my button, and become a ‘made’ Team Manager.

‘Made’ Team Managers are untouchable.

‘Made’ Team Managers have worked out the system. They know that if you under-perform they’ll have their arse kicked. If they over-perform, everyone will get suspicious and suspect that they are on the fiddle, so they’ll get their arse kicked. If they coast somewhere in the middle, they’ll get the feedback, “you need a good kick up the arse.”

‘Made’ Team Managers know that the trick is to forget customers, forget the staff, play the game, and keep the boss happy.

‘Made’ Team Managers are the ones who eat four course meals at their desks while everyone else gets a bollocking for as much as sucking on a polo mint.