Contact

I have noticed that Janice’s eyes keep changing colour. Her brown eyes have turned blue.

“I’ve you noticed anything different about Janice?” I asked Call Centre Tony after yesterday’s management meeting. He is not a fan of Janice. They never see eye to eye on anything.

“Apart from her being a fat arsed unit. No.”

They must be contacts. They make her eyes look like a teddy bear.

I wear glasses, but cannot cope with the idea of wearing a contact lens: they require a level of fastidiousness that I do not have and I can’t stand the thought of poking myself in the eye everyday.

I have seen her again – she seems to have had a mix up – there is one blue eye and one brown eye.

She looks like David Bowie - only more butch and with better teeth.