Loot

Thrush is always going on about eBay. “How much did you pay for that? How MUCH? I could have got it for you for half that on eBay. You wanna get on eBay. There are loads of bargains on eBay. Cheap as chips. Eh? Cheap as chips … Geddit? Bargain Hunt.”

He had a job lot of coaxial cable for TV aerials that he was selling by the yard in the canteen at lunch. “I made a mint from it.”

Today he had a new paperweight on his desk. “This looks interesting,” I said.

“It arrived yesterday from eBay. It is an Iraqi antiquity.”

“Nicked from a museum? Looted?”
“Ask no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.” He smugly replied.

“That’s terrible!” I lambasted him and instructed him to put it away as it was inappropriate for work. He wrapped it carefully in bubble wrap and left with his tail between his legs.

Before he went I bought a mobile phone battery for a fiver.