14 Apr 2003


The Bog Blocker has been caught … wet-handed.

Call Centre Tony was on toilet patrol at the time: “I was on the check point, when I could hear someone pulling the at the roll again, again and again. I thought to myself “hang on – that’s a lot of paper for a quarter-pounder” so I gave a warning over the top of the door of trap one: “reveal yourself or I will enter by force.”

There was no reply. So I did it again: “Reveal yourself or, by the powers vested in me by Bernard the Boss I will enter the trap!”

Still no response, but I could hear movement. Next thing I knew, there’s a flush and water came flooding out from underneath the door. I said: “pull up your trollies - I’m coming in!” I shoulder-charged the door and Bob’s your auntie’s live in lover - I’d flushed him out”

It was the Building Manager all along. He was getting a kick back from the plumbing contractors for each call out.

I don’t know why we were so surprised; after all we know from Scooby Doo that Janitors are in the shadiest profession on the planet. I imagined him being dragged out of the building, his career down the pan, shouting: “I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those pesky skids.”