Hair today …

I joined Ian and Call Centre Tony in his Canteen Confessional today. They were mid-conversation, so I had to listen carefully to pick up the pieces. They were discussing … how may I put this?

Bush trimming.

I don’t mean topiary or some new diet video from the President of the USA (I would pay to see that!), I mean ‘hair-dressing below stairs.’

If you haven’t caught up yet, ask your mum.

Ian was as smarmy as usual. “I like a girl who looks after herself.” He had mayonnaise on his chin – he always does, even when he hasn’t eaten it – and ketchup on his C3-PO tie.

Tony smiled. “My wife asked for a Brazilian and ended up with a Bermuda triangle.” They snorted and laughed spitting lettuce across the table. “At least she didn’t have Police Woman.”

“A Police Woman?” Ian asked.

“Cun – Stubble!”

I didn’t finish my beef sandwich.