Speed Humps

Ian was with Call Centre Tony at the Canteen Confessional again today.

Ian’s laddishness makes me uncomfortable at times. He is like a walking-talking issue of Loaded and Call Centre Tony encourages him. They try an out do each other relating stories of football violence. Its like the scene in Jaws where Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfrus are comparing scars:

“I was wind-milling down United road when this City fan …” etc.

“You think that is a story? Well - listen to mine… “etc.

Today he was more contemplative, more sensitive and exposed his vulnerabilities. Last night he went to a speed-dating evening at a local club. “I need a bit of companionship. It was great having good times with women but I need to settle down.”

He described how the evening was organised and how he had to score each of the forty women he met during a ‘three minute horning’. The women were asking questions about his hobbies and interests in quick fire bursts.

“Give us an example of what you asked.” Call Centre Tony said.

“I asked what I ask when I meet a new lady - Pink or brown?”

Pink or brown … he truly is the last of the red hot lovers.