Teddy Ruxpin on Acid

Tizzy phoned in sick today. She has developed an allergy to the stick insects that she adopted: “I’ve had to take Kerry and Jordan back to the shop because I’ve come out in lumps.”

There’s no answer to that.

During the last appraisals, in August, I indulged in one of my addictions so I could get through them: fizzy sweets in the shape of a dummy. I have managed to resist the temptation this time. Instead, I have still got a job lot of duty-free sweets I bought from the airport (you know the ones, they have different fruits pictured on the wrapper, but they all taste the same) but I haven’t touched them. I’m quite proud of myself.

I’ve almost finished the appraisals. Thrush and Moomin are out of the way for another 6 months.

Barney, The Big Gay Bear, makes it nice and easy by agreeing with everything I say. He has worked hard on the team and he deserves to be rewarded for sitting on my right hand and supporting me through 2003.

Once we got the sordid business of his appraisal out of the way, he started to tell me about his latest money-spinner. He is making screen printed t-shirts featuring teddy bears dressed as gay icons in an Andy Warhol style. “You should see my version of Winnie the Pooh meets Judy Garland – it’s to die for – and it’s selling like hot cakes.”

Finally, a cottage industry he can’t get arrested for …