The Ties that Bind

Brenda wanted to make an appearance at our Team Meetings this week. I hastily arranged one today because we haven’t had one since February as John the Morman took over the whole meeting arguing about the lack of car parking spaces and the dress code.

I could have stepped in and enforced my authority but I couldn’t be arsed. I rather liked that the fact that I didn’t have to speak to the team while he was droning on: “Have you heard of that bloke in Stockport who refused to wear a tie and managed to sue his company for discrimination. I’m going to stop wearing mine and they’ll not be able to do a single thing about it.”

The meeting then took a nasty turn when John Doe said that Tizzy could come to work as scruffy as she liked, with her midriff showing, and the blokes did not have that freedom. Barney, the big gay bear, suggested that he would like to come to work showing his midriff.

Before Thrush (so called because he is an irritating cunt) could step in and offer his views on National Service, I brought the meeting to an abrupt end.

It has been a dereliction of my Team Managerly duties. My team have been deprived of vital team-building time off the phone. I feel eternally guilty. No wonder they hate me.

It’s all going to change now that I have Brenda as a life coach. The meeting is on Wednesday.