Bad Head Day

My head is banging. My pee smells of Jamesons. I have woken up after two days of listening to the ‘Sum of its Parts’ seminar with a holistic hangover.

I can only remember a screaming ring of images from the two days:

Ian was wearing ‘Sir Killalot’ tie; there was a group of women in crushed-velvet leggings (yes, you heard me correctly); Bernard tried to look comfortable with no tie, casually walking across the stage during his keynote address, instead he looked nervous and was pacing like a caged lion; I distributed packs to disinterested men in suits and women in leggings while I stood at an exhibition stand which featured an 8 by 8 photo of Barney, The Big Gay Bear, wearing a headset; and I got caught in the cross-fire of an argument between someone from The Catalogue That Cannot Be Named and someone from The Door to Door Catalogue That Cannot Be Named.

It was supposed to be an uplifting event that brought the two companies together in a sprit of harmony and cooperation; instead, it was a bun-fight.

The Door to Door people (predominately the women in leggings and Diamondette ™ rings) did not hide their hostility to the Call Centre. They seemed to think that it was a move too far into the twenty first century.

They have a point. I don’t know about you, but I like to see the whites of the eyes of someone selling me a Super Mop.

I didn’t get chance to ask my question: “How do you sleep at night?” And too much drink has erased much of Bernard’s messages about ‘vital’ learning synergies. I feel queasy at the thought of it.

I feel I need to go back to sleep but when I do, I have nightmares featuring Barney’s big head beaming at me like an over inflated Harold Shipman.

Nighty night.